Armand's Memory Re: Armand's Memory 1992-07-25 1998-10-18 A Few New Things Bernadette's Grandfather What's in a Name? Heritage. Serendipity. Archives February 8. 1998. 1999. February 8.	Down Side Up
	Zero Storm One Common Drama Two for One Three Pivotal Years Four Generations Five Ring Circus
	Subject: Monday February 8, Jacques Marchand Date: Monday February 8, 1999 14:34:29 +0000 From: Catherine Camus To: Jérôme Camus I received, today, a letter from Jacques Marchand . Four pages of stable writing, thus well thought out. Some photographs were enclosed too. I started reading this and thought that you had to know. So I am typing it as I discover it. Here goes... February, 3 1999 Catherine, I received your letter and the photo with your two children. Thank you. I noticed that you had the some expression in your eyes as your mother did. It is my turn to send you a few photographs (1983 and 1985). When we get some more recent ones, I will send them along... In 1996, we sent a large package of them to Canada, particularly of our daughter Cathy. You may have seen some or all of them? Your mother, when she came by for the second time in March 1996, said that she would: "destroy all traces of Marchand, even those which concern me." When she was alive, we could not say whom we were, nor mention that her maiden name was Marchand... I promised her nothing, it was so absurd... but we respected her request. If Jerome had not contacted us after your mother's death, I believe all links between us would have disappeared. To me, that would have been very distressing. During your mother's two visits, we talked about the past with Alberte, my other sister - your aunt!! Bernadette was very discreet and we understood, right from the start, that she had many things to hide from Jerome. It was also clear that, when she went back to Canada, we would have to forget. Alberte and I, told her of our past - not a fairy tale in either case. Your mother recognized that herself, although abandoned, was in good hands and thus, she had the better youth of us three (piano, studies, well-to-do family...) I keep re-reading your first letter. Believe me, since Jerome wrote me in October '98 stating he had a sister, unknown to him up to that time, I keep asking myself the same question... WHY? Why: must a mother do a bad thing and her daughter do the same? Why: must a mother hide the truth from her child during her lifetime, and her daughter do the same? In my case, all my families, including my sister Alberte, knew, but kept the secret. Just like my mother Henriette... Your mother never mentioned a daughter, quite the contrary. She seemed quite happy that our daughter is named Cathy, born on August 22 like Jerome... Mystery!!! Jerome not knowing the story, she could not slip up and we could never guess either. Besides, your mother knew (as I told her) that Boston had written me saying she had left without any forwarding address and had most certainly gone to Canada with her son... But no clue about you... After your grand-mother Henriette died in April 1984, I discovered, as I was filing her things, a blue sheet folded over with inside three clumps of hair and three names written by her: "Bernadette, Alberte, Jacques". I knew two of them, but not the first! I called my aunt Tremblay in the Sarthe... I asked a few questions and thus found out I had a sister born in 1929 at Antony. A surprise... Serene, I was no more. I quickly bounced backed, believing I would find her quickly... Unfortunately that aunt died... The city of Antony confirmed everything I knew from my aunt. They added the divorce from Mr. Camus. I had few clues, especially since I thought that she would have taken her maiden name anew. Thinking she might be remarried, I started 11 years of painful searches with Antony, then Boston and finally Ottawa which sent me back to the Foreign Affairs Ministry in Paris... In 1992, I asked the Antony City Hall to place an SOS in the Registry of Births. Finally, your mother needed some papers for her retirement and the city administration could send her my note. When Bernadette called us, you cannot imagine my joy! If I had to re-do this, I would, even though it led to knowledge that has upset me anew. Like Bernadette, in the books, I am of an unknown father, as decided by the tribunal of St Calais in 1944. In 1944, I lost the name Robineau (that of Alberte's father and Henriette's first husband) to take on my real father's name (whom Alberte knew) who was unfortunately deported to Germany (S.T.O.) and killed during an allied bombing, before all administrative procedures were completed so that I could officially carry his name... I was brought up by my father's parents, then handed back to my mother, like a dog, to find myself in an orphanage until May 1951, when it was closed down due to ill-treatment of the boys and girls by the Nuns who ran the place! Thus, after 1984, after my mother's passing, in addition to all the 'whys' I could only conclude that she abandoned easily. Then again, it was wartime, and many of us were abandoned, temporarily in some cases. That's life, and the main point is to succeed one's own life, whatever the cost may be... Bernadette, according to what she said, never searched for her mother... On the other hand, she told us she was brought up by the brother and sister-in-law of her biological father... The two families had daughters which were 10 to 20 years older. A minor anecdote: it was one of her sisters, upon her return from China that would have pushed their parents to let her go to the ball. Bernadette was 18 or so. I suspect it to be Magda. Bernadette was thus raised quite strictly, without lacking anything, except for a little bit of freedom in her youth... Bernadette told us that she had traveled a lot - by train, hitchhiking, on a motorbike, bringing Jerome everywhere with her... Her first holidays in 1949 were at Challes-les-Eaux, then in 1954 at St. Egrève and Chamrousse (skiing), right near where we live. Notwithstanding the years and many changes, we brought her back there in October 1995... I showed her around the region during her second trip. She was more bitter, there was her illness, her return alone to Canada, her secrets!! She was courageous, but very, very secretive. You understand why I could not say anything to your brother... I even tried to diminish our mother's (your grand mother's) faults. She would not have anything of it... WHY??? when I know since October 1998 that she did not do any better (We cannot judge). We all have our qualities and flaws. Things go well, things go bad; life certainly does not follow the path we would like. Still, I do not think what is bad is inherited and passed on to future generations; understanding Henriette's personality might not give us all the answers. Otherwise, we would have to go back in time quite a bit!! I hope you and Jerome will meet my aunt Chambellan, and maybe you will get answers to your questions... For my part, I can only hope that you and your children, that Jerome, his wife and their children, be very happy at the present time and in the future... I sent my wishes to Jerome... I told him to ask me questions. If I can, I will answer... Otherwise Joker... Maybe one day we will all meet. Our door, and our hearts, are wide open to you. Our friendship (from afar) Jacques I did not know how to approach this day with you, Jerome. I will thank Jacques, our uncle, but I cannot believe that the date this letter arrived on can be just another coincidence. I think he needs to read your novel ... In any case, I will call him today to thank him. Otherwise, just as a first impression, I am very absent from all of this ;-) A simple observation I will call you this evening in any case. Je t'embrasse affectueusement