| Zero
Storm |
One
Common Drama |
Two
for One |
Three
Pivotal Years |
Four
Generations |
Five
Ring Circus |
| Subject: | Exiting |
| Date: | Monday, July 28, 1997 23:40:22 -0500 |
| From: | Jérôme |
| To: | Silvana |
Mom will be released tomorrow. The tests were run and re-run. I still did not know what her condition was. It has been three weeks, so I got a bit irritated. I confronted the doctor. I was questioning her degree of professionally.
How long does it take to run these tests?
Huh? We know all we need to know.Huh?
Did your mother not tell you?Uhhh... No. Why would I be asking you then?
This is difficult... I have to protect the patient's wishes. I cannot convey such information, it is entirely up to the patient. But I specifically told your mother that we believed that you ought to know...
I had no choice but to go on the offensive. I asked questions about everything I knew. I got answers and thus the entire status report.
The doctors finally found that the hypothalamus and hypophyse were metastased. Not producing anti-diuretic substances; mom could not absorb liquids any more. Synthetic substances have brought that under control. It shows. The doctors also concluded that the medication she was on during her remission did not work as expected; the breast cancer re-surfaced.
Options? Radiotherapy to avoid further complications to the brain, chemotherapy for the breast cancer. The rest has actually stopped progressing.
My mother does not want to hear any of this: "No treatment, no loss of hair again". Damned dignity... Yet it is her choice. She just does not seem to listen when I tell her that she looks great with the short hair, that it will grow back quickly.
She can be released now. Medication will stabilize her condition. However, her energy level is low. I guess I have to work on the mental side of things again; I will push her, but discretely this time. Big moves will not work this time, I think.
She seems to have but one desire: to see her friends in Boston. I am embarrassed to say this, but I keep thinking: "For one last time". I am not sure anymore, but I think I heard her say it, too. We will go there in mid-August.
At least my mother will return and find her apartment in an impeccable state. She has to feel comfortable. I did not do much else over these past few weeks: back and forth to the hospital, fix her place up, a bit of biking and swimming. I really felt like keeping this part of the trip silent and deep inside. This quietness seems appropriate to me...
Hugs and kisses.
Jérôme